Surpassing the Erotic

I've got an ache

and a yearning

chains I can't break

a heart that can't stop burning

Once upon a time

A covert mission

to some, a war crime

to me, sweet submission.

I was on fire

surrounded by the Divine

I did desire

to be mystically intertwined 

An intimacy

that surpassed the erotic

its intricacy  

hopelessly hypnotic 

An eager passion

to experience and to dive

drown in compassion

to finally be alive.  

Encased in peace

hugged by my craving

may it never cease

may I be worth saving.

He Stood

He stood as they cursed him

He stood as they screamed

He stood as they shamed him

He stood forever, it seemed.

He hoped on a wish

He hoped on a prayer

He hoped for some magic

He hoped God was there.

He believed in his heart

He believed in his divine

He believed he was created

He believe he was fine.

He swam toward his dreams

He swam against the tide 

He swam to find peace

He swam for his pride

then....

He stood as he pondered

He stood a recluse

He stood near a chair

He stood near a noose.

He imagined his death

He imagined the smother

He imagined his tormentors 

He imagined his mother.

They stood, a large crowd

They stood, and many cried

They stood as he spoke

They stood full of pride.

He lived on that stage

He lived and made a choice

He lived in spite of heartache

He lived to add his voice. 

Willow

Willow left her homeland, the one that love banned

the place where she was born and grew

the hillside, the preacher's bride

longed for more than she ever knew.

When she arrived there, in the sun's glare

stood a woman, exotic and fine

her eyes a brown glass, and Willow did ask

Someday will your heart be mine?

And just in sight, the glowing moonlight

shown proud, radiant and beaming

the stars danced, as if they were entranced 

and Willow woke from her dreaming.

When the dawn broke, and the birds spoke

She saw the sun rise off the land

Willow watched her sleep, nice and deep

and brushed her brown skin with her hand.

Unbelieving, still conceiving,

Willow looked up to Heaven to say

How can love be this bare reality

Please never take it away.

Time went fast, and love outlast

as they endured hard ships time and again

death of loved ones, wrath of cruel ones

who declared their love was a sin.

In between the pain, the hard days refrained

and laughter was mingled with romance

they watched people walk by, laughed till they cried

and never gave the future a glance. 

They took in a play on a sunny day

and heard about the circle of life

the message astounding, the reaction resounding

it was a great day to be wife and wife.

Then it all went wrong, just like a bad song

and nightmares shattered all their dreams

they couldn't repair, on a wing and a prayer

all the damage that tore at their seams.

Stunned and outraged, in a confused daze

Willow looked up to Heaven in tears

how can love be unjust, I pray and I trust

but now I drown in all my fears.

In a place far away, where the willows still sway

you will find a girl with dreams and with fire

of love of a kind, like your love and mine

someday to be engulfed in desire.  

Souls of a Thousand Women

Sitting alone in the silence
in the mists of winter freeze
the shiver, a cold quiver
a voice, a chilling breeze

Like a radio out of tune
the signal clear, then fades away
marching orders, mental disorders
demands of me night and day.

Time to breathe, my sincere request
that seems to go unheeded
so I dream in silent screams
that my fantasy not be impeded.


By the souls of a thousand women
I want to be intertwined
a blanket of plenty, warm and gently
they capture my heart and mind.

The intimacy, unmatched
sinless, the holy divine
an orgy of wisdom, dance of sweet prism
this moment of refuge is mine.

The women of times past
their stories they would tell
of perfect visions, terrible decisions
an experience I know too well.

Then spirits whisper the songs
a known repetitive vibe
that enraptures and encaptures
the voice of the female tribe.

To rest within the earth goddess
and the souls of a thousand women
safe in the hand, sweet promised land
I sleep in godly oblivion.

The Dream

I dreamed of you last night

I was there, my spirit free

I saw your eyes, your welcoming smile

and remembered when we were WE

I saw your head with that innocent tilt

watched you giggle as you joked

felt the fragrant breeze as you walked by

heard the accent when you spoke.

You were in a home decorated with you

built in the hot inland sun

from the kitchen I heard Nanay

and the smells of sinagong.

Tatay watched his wrestling show

and tagalog floated between the two

my heart burst with memories

of me, of them, of you.

Your asian features, your body curves

etched with fire in my mind

your deep brown eyes and soft brown hair

I beg to be intertwined.

You kissed me and ask me to stay

How long I have awaited this chance!

but I knew I would have to return to my life

and prayed for one last dance.

And then the dream ended

and the night became the dawn

and I lay there with a broken heart

for you, the moon, were gone.

Please Momma, Don't Let Go

*Momma=God/dess

Embrace me sweet Mother

sing your child to sleep

let the rhythm of your breathing

slow my heartbeat.

Let the surge of panic lessen

let the sadness break its chains

let me find some peace and love 

in the life that still remains. 

But Momma I gotta tell you

there are days that I can't feel 

and sometimes those are better

because it hurts too much to heal

I'd like to feel and be alive

I  knew that once before

and there are times, sweet Mother, I'll tell you

It makes me desire some more. 

But you know me best of all

when I feel, it is immensely

whether it is anger or its love

I do it so intensely. 

In my insanity I am powerful

in my gentleness I am divine

in my anger, a wounded child

this broken soul of mine. 

But Momma, you never left me

 I didn't even know you were there

no one told me I wasn't a spiritual bastard

that I had a divine momma some where. 

They just made me afraid of Father

said he made hell for people like me

and the only way he would love

was if I was someone I couldn't be.

So I'm just so fucked up Momma

I ain't right in the head

Sometimes I wonder if it all be better

If I would just wake up dead. 

But I don't want them to win

it would make them too happy just to see

another queer swinging round and round

from a rope on a tree. 

So Momma if you would, I'm begging

I'm praying with all I got

Hold me until I'm strong enough

to get up from this spot. 

I know I"m bruised and battered

the scars are ugly, I know

but please Momma until I'm ready

Please Momma, don't let go.

...for that I am Proud

Pink sheep of the family

black sheep I am as well

stripped zebra colors stand out

though some say I'm going to hell.

Heart, often soft and loving

protected by a mighty flow

a guard dog in a corner

only has one way to go.

Teeth showing, brightly shining

a smile or a growl

depends on your intentions

if I bite or if I howl.

A country girl not belonging

in the city the accent seeps

no church is gonna have me

gives me nothing but the creeps.

A pagan who knows the Good Book

though it ain't used too well at all

beating down the least of these

is not a verse that I recall.

Maybe I'm a Jackass for Jesus

or maybe just one for me

but I hate when you bastardize the man

you say hung from a tree. 

God's most irritating dyke

sometimes quiet, sometimes loud

I am your creation, pink and black,

and for that I am proud. 

Sacred Forest Love

by oristart on deviantart

In the forest our spirits meet

A sacred chapel under our feet

Heavenly hymns sang by the angels above,

And they sing of us, our sacred love.

And facing  you, I hold you gently
And look into your eyes, intently
My thoughts to your heart without a sound
As love and blessings all abound.

And taking your face into my hands
Your lips to mine as only I can
A gentle kiss that leads to passion
And I love you in my own sweet fashion.

Your fingers caress my arms, so strong
And to the scars there so long
And with my eyes I ask permission
If I can proceed on this sacred mission.

And I look at you, for I desire
To bring you heavenward, to lift you higher
So with your blessings, inside you I travel
To learn you well, your secrets unravel.

Only beginning is our time in this place
Laying intertwined, as I avoid all haste
I hold you close, never wishing to part
But hoping that I’ll always have your heart.

And when in the world we reappear
Beside you I stand, have no fear
For around you close, my wings will wrap
And when you are tired, in my arms you’ll nap.

And I will protect you when you cry
For you I will fight, for you I will die
Just love me always, forever dear
And I will love you and always be here.

Angry Beast

Stupid motherfucking world

I'm so angry for a fight

We try and try to do good

still lay awake at night.

Work our fucking asses off

and our fingers to the bone

then we hear a little ring

bill collectors on the phone.

Then I try to love my lady

cause I really think she rocks

then a self righteous christian

jumps up on his soapbox.

We are going to hell?

How 'bout you Mr. Pharisee?

Go to church on Sunday

but full of hypocrisy.

And then the politicians

Pro-family Yes! my ass

put down the stones ya throwin'

you're in a house made of glass.

I'm just trying to live here, ya'll

leave me and mine in peace

I want to be god lovin

but I'm just a angry beast.

God's Bustin' a Rhyme

 

And in the news today.....

(Announcer)

"We have received a press release from Heaven. Apparently God is Bustin' A Rhyme...."

Hey my people under the steeple

With a holy book in your hand.

Thinkin' you're all that, makin' love combat

Believin' its your place to take command.

Give me back my religion, it isn't your decision

who I choose to love or forgive.

You think that you know me, but let me say Homie

its up to me how people live.

It ain't all about fire although I admire

your attempt to save them from that fate

But if they can't discover that I am like no other

they'll not know that I love instead of hate.

So lets take a break and then partake

of some re-education of your heart

go back to the beginning, to the first inning

and get to know me from the start. 

I'm really kinda fly, an omnipotent holy guy

the Creator of all your in your space.

so give me a chance to start a worldwide dance

and take all my kids in an embrace. 

So everybody chill and then fulfill

the one command I gave to you

love each other and your earth mother

and let all your souls spring anew. 

"LOVE EACH OTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU"

Put a Face to Your Hate

Memorize my face, look deep in my eyes

do you expect a demon layin' in disguise?

Do I look to you like the Big Bad Wolf

Ready to huff n puff, blow down your roof?

I am only a child, that's grown up tall

Just my mother's little baby, really that's all.

I bleed as you bleed, cry as you cry,

and I look at you and I ask you "why?"

Is it easy to look at me with self righteous sight?

Do I disgust, offend you, give you some kind of fright?

Is it my skin, my ink, my clothes, my hair

that give you reason to judge, reason to stare?

I'm only a child, that's grown up strong

just trying to love, not do anything wrong.

We breathe the same air, live in the same space

and both depend on God's glorious grace.

So why do you expect so much evil from my kind?

Is it easier on your heart, is it easier on your mind

when you hate us, judge us, condemn us to hell?

Does it make you feel good, is your soul feelin' well?

You see us as a whole, marchin' in parade.

Until you see one, your hate will cascade.

Just stop, look in my eyes, memorize my face

I am someone you know, not an ungodly disgrace.

To the Church of Intolerance

Here I am.

I don't back down.

You want a piece?

  You're white as fleece?

But I'm worth hate

I can't relate,

Don't educate,

Don't repopulate.

Cause your message is wrong

an empty song,

I don't belong,

I won't go along.

Cause you love in stages

in different phases.

You put us in rages,

in emotional cages.

 I'm supposed to believe

in these lies you conceive,

In these ways you deceive

Do I look that naive?

But I know the truth.

I'm an amazing sleuth.

So I'll make my own way

Won't be led astray. 

I pray.

Can't Help Which Way My Heart Fell

Growing up I didn't believe
that one day I might receive
a love that many couldn't conceive
or that others would aggrieve.

No celebration came that day
from the world, no great display
it was an evil they portrayed
the day you took my heart away.

 Can't help which way my heart fell
I'm under love's sweet magic spell
Sure doesn’t feel like a sinful hell
What can I do, do tell, Oh Well
Like an old forgotten tree
Where I fell wasn’t up to me
Why can’t they just let it be
And try to be happy for me?

Heaven knows best, I know its true
Its up to God what is taboo
but he brought me to you
And made my heart feel renewed.

So if God says its right
Then for you I’ll stand and fight
If it takes all day and night
I’ll be your brave white knight.

Karma Stings the Evil

They say Karma is a bitch

and revenge is the Lord's

ain't got no problem with that

'cause they're both in one accord.

Now I don't mean to be cruel

it ain't what I'm all about

but when Karma stings the evil

I wanna stand up and shout.

Gotta admit its mighty nice

when the haters feel the hate

reap the fruit of their labor

and with destiny have their date.

You will sow what you reap

in those words make no mistake

sow love and it will return

but beware in sowin' hate.

Ying/Yang: The Human Condition

I'm a stone cold butch

I'm a scared little child

I'm a quiet introvert

who can go buck wild.

I am full of great love

but can scream in a rage

I'm free as an eagle

yet a bird in a cage.

I'm an agnostic with great faith

I'm a sinner and a saint

I draw the peace symbol

and I wear war paint.

I cry until I laugh

then I laugh until I cry

I look to take my life

then I fight not to die.

I'm a little troublemaker

then dream I'm Superman

cause a little mischief

then save all I can. 

I'm an angel and a devil

just a dirt poor millionaire

I'm a reason for concern

I'm an answer to prayer.

I am that I am. I am me.

Land of the Broken

This is the land of the angry

This is the home of the pissed

This is a platoon of fighters

To get back the life we have missed

To lay claim to what is ours

To take back a heart of peace

To fight for quiet and tranquility

To make the war inside cease.

To silence the voices inside

Self doubt, self hate, non stop

Speaking yelling cursing us

Beating us till we drop

Looking over our shoulders

Waiting for the beast to strike

Feeling the hot breathe of evil

Carrying a "fuck you" spike.

Expecting enemies at every turn

We will never disappointed be

Because what we seek we will find

And what we fear we will see

So how do we fight for peace

But lay all our weapons down

But when the enemy is ourselves

Self trust never seems to abound

So round and round we go

In this hamster wheel heart beating

Distrusting the feet we run on

Fearing happiness is fleeting.

This is the land of the broken

This is the land of exhaust

This is the home of the cornered dog

fighting for the life lost.

Ass-Kickin' Victory

In the evil hours of terror

i go seekin' your face

your peaceful packing presence

your warming embrace

Another time of fear

oh hell, when will they end?

i just want some southern comfort

as I walk round the bend.

Just give me my country momma

my girl, and my divine

and let me get some rest

and maybe bust out some rhyme.

And when the time comes 

for me to face all my demons

let me come out with courage

my angels cheerin' and screamin'.

Let me kick some ass, Lord

send them all back to hell

and come out of this, a champion

with victory stories to tell.

Rainbow Battlefield

Out there on the battlefield

bodies lay across the land

some taken by the enemy

some by their own desperate hand.

The wounded cry out in so much pain

they just want a place to rest

they call for the medic

but find shrapnel in his chest.

So the wounded tend to each other

how can those in pain love so much

even as they cry from their own bullet holes

they provide a gentle touch.

And they dress new wounds and examine old scars

if each story they could tell

they would know that they walked as one

in a similar kind of hell. 

And although they wish that they could go home

Home simply wasn't there

If they lived, there was no promise

simply a wing and a prayer.

So they picked up all the dogtags

of the ones who didn't make it through

with a promise on their heart

that "we will never forget you."

Limping and supporting, 

they picked the live ones up

carried them to safety

and drank from the same sweet cup.

And if no home existed

in a land so far away

on this battlefield they would make a home

as a family they would stay.

And watch over each other, they would

someone always standing guard

and hugs for the brokenhearted

when times would get so hard.

So they made a place and called it home

it was easy for the world to see

that love among the wounded 

created a family.

It always amazes me that the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community, which is filled with so much  pain is also filled with so much love. We are the walking wounded who still reach out to our brothers and sisters to lift them up and help them go on. We have been rejected by our communities, our families, our churches and so we have made our own Rainbow Pride Community. 

On Facebook, what began as a group of people trying to stop hate through Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook, has become a world wide family. Although our experiences vary, we all seem to share a common hurt, and a common goal. On this battlefield of hate and prejudice, we have made our home. We have surrounded ourselves with brothers and sisters, moms and dads. I've heard family is made up, not of who you share your biology, but who shares your heart. This is dedicated to all of you whom I love very much.  

 

Crayon Box Reflections

I look at my reflection and what do I see

a gyrl and a boi lookin' just like me

I bleed all the colors of the crayon box,

gotta have the bouncing power of off-road shocks.

Look into my eyes and tell me what do you see

a whole lotta good and a little devil in me

harmless and playful, naughty little cat

Bad kitty, purrin' pretty, gigglin' just like that.

 

It don't matter to me what shit ya sayin'

I'm still me, spirit's always prayin'

Cause I know he still loves all my kind

ain't no junk in his bad-ass grand design.

Guess I'm just the best of both sides

a mix of all flavors

a bouquet of rainbows

a faith that never waivers.

 

God's Bustin' a Rhyme

And in the news today.....

(Announcer)

"We have received a press release from Heaven. Apparently God is Bustin' A Rhyme...."

Hey my people under the steeple

With a holy book in your hand.

Thinkin' you're all that, makin' love combat

Believin' its your place to take command.

Give me back my religion, it isn't your decision

who I choose to love or forgive.

You think that you know me, but let me say Homie

its up to me how people live.

It ain't all about fire although I admire

your attempt to save them from that fate

But if they can't discover that I am like no other

they'll not know that I love instead of hate.

So lets take a break and then partake

of some re-education of your heart

go back to the beginning, to the first inning

and get to know me from the start. 

I'm really kinda fly, an omnipotent holy guy

the Creator of all your in your space.

so give me a chance to start a worldwide dance

and take all my kids in an embrace.
 

So everybody chill and then fulfill

the one command I gave to you

love each other and your earth mother

and let all your souls spring anew. 

"LOVE EACH OTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU"