Alone

Nothing more lonely
than being alone in a crowd
the laughter, meaningless
the voices, loud.

The world spins without you
leaving you stranded
on your own island, lost
dumped and abandoned

They say "you are lovable"
words mean nothing, you see
its what you do, how you look
when you stare right through me

I know I'm not perfect
never claimed I was
but how do you just walk away
from someone you said you loved?

I've known loneliness all my life
I never fit in
but this deep kind of loneliness
should be considered a sin.

It cuts so deep
no words describe the hurt
but a blade and blood dripping
mixing with the dirt.

I'm good enough for laughter,
I'm good enough for fun
but when it comes to commitment
I'm good enough for none.

I sit here wondering
how I got to this place, this time
life showed so much promise
in those grand dreams of mine.

I'd be somebody
I'd do it right
guided by my creator
during my prayers at night.

It wasn't so simple
not a matter of logic
twenty years later
staring at an empty closet.

I no longer trust myself
and there is no wise sage
to help me figure life out
to help guide my ways.

Tears would smear the ink
if only I could cry
but instead I sit here
and inside slowly die.

I have to make a miracle
to stop this fatal dive
a branch to grab and cling to
a way to stay alive.