Learning to Love Your Reflection

To every person, there are two sides. The side we allow the world to see, and the one we keep to ourselves. The good and the bad. The socially acceptable, and the real you. 

Sometimes we don't even know the real person inside. We think we do, then we have a moment when we look in the mirror and we think "Who is that? I don't even know her." It is a life long journey.  It is an emotional journey and a spiritual quest. 

It seems that I learn something new about myself every day. I've learned I'm a dreamer with my mind always somewhere else. I am a searcher, always looking for answers to sometimes unanswerable questions. I've been told recently that I live in a fantasy land where love is enough and anything is possible. Sounds like a good place to call home. 

The more I write, the more I recognize my own two sides. There is the serious, introspective individual, searching desperately for God and finding him/or all around me. That is the socially acceptable one. The one who would be welcomed in any church, perhaps to even speak. 

Then there is the playful and sometimes naughty person who likes to write stupid and sometimes over-the-top lyrics and stories to make people laugh. And sometimes that person is just plain angry. Sometimes people meet me who have read Whisper Creek and they can't believe its the same person.

I ask myself if its okay being BOTH those individuals who write from two completely different perspectives. Does it make me a hypocrite? Am I wrong? I've even termed it "multiple personality blogging" because I don't know what else to call it. 

But the truth is....its just complete honesty. I suppose on paper, I am an opened book. If I can go before God and say, "God, this is me." then why can I not do the same to people? 

It is that God who looks inside my soul and knows me better than anyone, and loves and accepts me anyway, who will be my judge. It is that God that I meet at Whisper Creek who sits down with me and watches the crisp clear water pass by us, and listen to the songs of birds and angels, and who is so close to me that we sometimes we don't even have to say a word. That's who I answer to.

The test of a real friendship is allowing that person to know everything about you...the good and the bad...and they love you anyway. To feel safe in his/her presence and to know that your secrets need not be secrets anymore. Because the love is unconditional.

The more you are able to see yourself through the eyes of God, the more you can accept everything about  yourself. You understand that that everything about you is just part of being human and that if God can love you, you can love yourself. You look at that reflection of you once more and you smile and say "That's me." And that's okay.