Under the Covers with Miss Ruby

Miss Ruby

My chihuahua, Miss Ruby, likes to hide under the covers. If she's not under the covers, she's in under a pillow and sometimes she even crawls inside the pillow case. Rarely, does she sit anywhere where she is exposed except to watch over me when I need it.

After laying awake yet another night of insomnia, I decided to see what she found so appealing and crawled under the covers with her. And it was nice. My world was suddenly smaller and less complicated. I could only see what was in this tiny little world. It was snug, safe, and warm. And I didn't want to crawl out. Miss Ruby, it seems, is a smart little dog.

She came from a rough background, my little Ruby. The neighbors saw her thrown out of a car with her brother when I lived in California. It took me a while and some great effort to get her to trust me and into my home. So, she doesn't trust easily, and she has found the only way she knows to feel safe.

She and I are inseparable. She knows when I am hurting and she is there for me. She has taken her paw to stop me from cutting myself in my desperate attempts to cope. She snuggles up to me at night and at the slightest indication of danger, is up guarding me.

And today, I just want to crawl back under the covers with her and hide.

Since I, myself, had to be spayed after being diagnosed with endometrial cancer, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Although I have produced some of my best writings and poetry since then, it is exhausting. The sudden menopause has left me unable to sleep and unable to think clearly as a result. The crazy emotions come crashing in like a tidal wave, and I can't eat because I am so overwhelmed. There is no calling out of work because I have 20 more mouths to feed in addition to Miss Ruby, all from the animal rescue I had in better financial times.

So, yes, today, I want to crawl back under the covers. I want to feel warm and safe with Miss Ruby, but work calls, and I must go on. I tell myself, this too shall pass, and I know its true. It always gets better. I don't give up, I don't give in, I simply take one step at a time. It may be a sleepy step, but a step nevertheless. And I tell myself, when work is done, I will come home and crawl under the covers until I am forced to get out again. And Miss Ruby will be waiting for me.