Invasion of the Peace Snatchers!

So people tell me I am unnecessarily angry at the conservative christian lot and need to tone it down a little. While I agree that I wish I could let it all go and not give a crap, I just cannot.

I love God and the concept of God so much it pains me so much to see other people hurt in the name of something/one so wonderful. Too often I see God's name dragged through the shit piles of hate and bigotry and have it called "christian",  meaning "Christ-like". 

It is nothing like Christ. It is not love, it is not self sacrifice. It is a dirty, filthy soap box that, instead of having knee stains to the side where the person is asking for forgiveness and guidance, there are dirty, bloodstained footprints on top as the right fighters have stepped over the hurt and dying masses to get to their self appointed pulpits.

• I am sick and tired of being told that I need to magically accept Jesus as my personal savior in order to get to heaven (which I did years ago), by people who show no real evidence that they have ever personally known the one who showed kindness and love to those no one else would. 
• I am frustrated beyond words of having my relationship with God deemed invalid because it does not fall in under the category listed in an ancient book, almost all which was written dozens and even hundreds of years after the fact. 
• I am figuratively beating my head against the wall trying to talk to people who can't see past the forest of ancient words to see the tree of God TODAY leading us in the right direction. 
• I am tired of those who find it more important to beat me silly with their "ancient holy word of God", then to make life good for people that are here today. 
• I am over those who scream that they don't want government to tell them how to worship and how devilish it must be to take prayers away in schools while they are the first to pass legislation to prevent my right to marry the person God gave me to love.
• I am sick of the comparison of a sports star to Jesus himself because he likes to pray to God in the open and thank him for his ability to throw a football. He does this on Sunday by the way so those who go watch him play must miss church service to get to his games,,,, and I am the one who is a sinner for not going to his kind of church Sunday morning?
• I am tired of those who pick out verses to prove that I and my partner are an abomination to God, but leave out the part where their praying football hero should do his praying in private and not on the street corners like the hypocrites do (see Matt 6).
• I am sickened by those who portray other religions such as Islam as an evil faith who wants nothing more than to kill us all when it is US (the U.S) and the conservative christian church who declares that God is on our side, so we are justified to kill them first. 
• I am frankly fed up with the pro-lifers who have plenty of time to make signs and scream at young, scared, poor women, but no time to adopt any of those children sitting in orphanages. 
• I am angry at those who, while standing on their soap boxes, are holding the light of God's glory underneath, and the love of God is hidden from view.  

So, yes, I am angry. It is not healthy for me, I realize. Am I handling this well? No, not at all. The peace of my Whisper Creek has been invaded.  I am getting on my own soap box and blocking out the glorious nature of the God I know so well. When I could be showing love, I am too busy being pissed off. When I could be showing compassion, I don't even see the need because I can't see passed the redness of my own anger. Its time for me to get off my own soapbox.

I'm not quiet sure how to step down, stop it, or even if I should. Everyone needs someone to fight for them, but there must indeed be balance. Where there is no love, I must bring it. Where there is no light, I must supply it. When a hug is all that is needed, I must be willing. So when do you step up and when do you stand down? I just don't know.

My friends tell me that I am speaking to a brick wall when I speak to these conservative christian types. "They will never hear you," they say. Yet I keep thinking if I could change, why can't they? I was once one of them. One who only saw the biblical words I memorized since childhood, and not the common sense and ability to see hurt and need through the eyes of a loving God. I just want them to see THAT God. I want them to feel the freedom, not to sin vicariously, but to be trusted by a Creator to use the innate sense of right or wrong instilled in me as a divine child of God. I want them to be a flying holy creation, not a blind sheep being led to the slaughter. To have them realize that it is okay to find joy in this life instead of suffering miserably as a martyr in order to be able to be told what a good and faithful servant they were once they get to heaven, would be amazing. 

It is NOT a sin to enjoy life!

So I know, I have lots of healing to do. I have to calm down. I have to find a better approach. Anger is just a way of showing hurt without crying. I'm hurt by all this bullshit. I'm hurt by those who seek to take away any chance of me marrying the one I love based on their own religious beliefs. And I am pissed. Pissed at the hypocrisy of it all. I have allowed my life to be invaded by the peace snatchers. Its time I take my soul back.

May God help me to concentrate on her goodness, her love, her mercy. May she wrap me and mine in the wings of her divine protection. May she teach me how to show love where there is no love, show mercy where no mercy is found, show compassion instead of anger.  May she help me look past those who make fun of those of us who see God as she reveals herself to us, instead of the cookie cutter God they want us to believe in. May she put her hand over my mouth while she whispers words of guidance into my ears. May she help me return my Whisper Creek to a place of unconditional love and acceptance and fill the air with the sweet aroma of peace. In this I pray. Blessed be.