Heavy Heart

Sometimes my heart is heavy

and I don't know the reason why

So I look back across my pages

and it hurts but I can't cry

I can see so many mistakes

though I didn't intend wrong

but highlighted in bright marker

the list seems so very long. 

Sincere and good intentioned

never seems to be enough

as I stumble through the living

feeling small but looking tough

My head in my hands

run my fingers through my hair

wait for magic to make it right

but the magic isn't there

So I do what I can do

and try to let go of what remains

but forgetting isn't easy

and my heart recalls the pains

And though I know without a doubt

you brought the lies and deceit

no matter how I take it

it seems like mine, not your defeat

How can one be so evil

with an expression, a blank stare

no soul filled with goodness

I thought I saw what wasn't there.

Why does it feel so very dirty

I brought you to my Whisper Creek

my sacred space so violated

It makes my knees so weak.

I went down to the river

and sought peace and some relief

for the damage you did

and for stealing like a thief. 

But I found no peace`

still something yet undone

I cant save you from your evil

but I can keep you on the run

If someday you find your peace

and I really pray that you do

I hope you remember in my weakness

I would have carried you through.

I don't know how to find a way

to purify my space

to make my soul well again

a sacred, holy place.

But I'll find the answer, 

 I won't lose my faith at all

you might have made me stumble

but you didn't make me fall.