Acceptance

 

 

 

I've gotten to know me,

and I know me quite well.

sometimes its been painful

a guilt trip to hell.

 

 

 

 

 I had to learn to love me

when I was told I was a curse

some abomination that

was proven with some holy verse. 

 

Its been a lifetime of voices

external and in my head

some telling me I'm worthy

others wishing me dead. 

What shouldn't have been a trauma

cause I was promised pure love

became a verbal beating

and I spilled my own blood. 

 

I hated me for being me

curse God for this cage 

felt nothing but anger

that turned into violent rage.

 

I screamed in my mind

and it shattered like glass

my heart broke in pieces

the blood burst forth en masse.

 

I learned how to cut

and I learned how to bleed

because it was my lifeline

when for death I would plead 

And slowly, too slowly

I began to accept

That when people condemned me

it was their own souls that wept. 

For that hate and self-righteousness

was nothing but fear

that they had to appear better

better than this queer. 

All the talk was about them

it was never about me

they feared for their souls

although they said they were free

To think God could be proud

believing her queer kids were worthy

that love is just love

and they deserved their love story. 

 

Such a thing would rock their foundations

and their perfect world, it would crumble

and instead of standing on soap boxes

they would kneel and be humbled.

 

So if God says she loves me

who am I to debate

I can lay down my armor

and stop being irate.

 

So with the perspective of God

I can see me and say

God made me just perfect

for I was made this way.