The Cutting Muse

If I don't write, I surely will explode

cause I'm carrying such a big emotional load

the airlines would charge me for all these extra bags

and I'd get writers cramp filling out the tags.

So what do I do with all of this weight

Its not that I like it, I really hate

but its in me and ain't gonna disappear

I ain't hangin' on to it like some souvenir.

So what do I do before I pop

before I kill over, before I drop?

sometimes the only thing I know to do

is cut the pain away and try to start anew.

Lord knows I'm a cutter and I know it gives you pain

but sometimes its all that keeps me from goin' insane.

but if I can put the pain into a jammin' rhyme

it buys me a minute, it buys me some time.

So I write mighty often and hopefully well

to keep myself away from a cutting hell

but some days it hurts and some days I weep

and I pray that the Lord, my soul will keep.

But thanks be to God, I write like I breathe

but when I can't, inside, my head, it  does seethe

and I look at the knife and I pick it up

and I taste once again from the bitter cup.

Maybe one day soon, I really don't know

I'll find a better way, to deal, when I'm low

but if its the only thing that keeps this chick alive

I gotta do what I have to in order to survive.

~~For all of you cutters out there...I understand~~

 If I don't write it on paper, I write it on my arm.

Your scars tell stories.

Someday you must share them.