One semester as I was working toward my degree in psychology, I had the opportunity to do an independent study on any topic my professor and I agreed upon. After much discussion, we chose "Perception and its affect on mental health".
I started out by reading a book which changed my life. It was Viktor Frankl's “Man's Search for Meaning”In the book, Frankl, a psychologist turned Holocaust survivor, shared his story of losing his entire family in the concentration camps of WWII. His unique perspective of his experience and his
observation of others in the camp, formed his theory that it is not pleasure that humans seek, but
meaning in life.
He observed time and time again, that the men in the camp who gave to others, shared their bread, and did not look inward, survived, while others did not. Where others saw themselves as no longer having any choices in life, those who realized that they had a choice in how they dealt with their situation, were able to adapt. While there was little they could do to change the situation they were in, they could change their perspective.
According to Frankl's theory of logotherapy, life has meaning no matter how horrible the circumstances and it is that meaning and the freedom to change our perspective, that gives us the strength to endure anything.
It is the attitude that gives the fortitude. The great thing about this is attitude can be changed.
Maybe there isn't much we can do about the situation we are in. This leaves us feeling helpless and hopeless. But there is one thing we can do, change how we perceive the situation. It can either be the end of the world as we know it, or it can be a bump in the road. It can be filled with days of self pity, or it can be an opportunity to reach out and help a person in a similar situation.
If nothing else, our troubles and trials should instill empathy. Now you know what its like to hear the words "you have cancer" for instance. So guess what? You have walked a mile in the shoes of all the other people who have heard, and will hear that same phrase. Now you have an opportunity to help the next ones who hear those dreaded words.
The only people who cannot find meaning in their struggles are those who can't see past their own self-pity. We are all going to have hard times, and we need to be able to talk about it. However, there comes a time when we have to pick ourselves up and move on.
I am well aware life is very difficult. I have heard the words "you have cancer", I have lived a life struggling with agoraphobia, depression, and panic. I have experienced self punishment and even suicide attempts. So I don't make light of anyone's pain. But, as Viktor Frankl found out in the concentration camps of WWII, those who survive are those who move past self pity and find meaning.
Stop waiting for life to get better to be happy. Find joy in the moments. If it is a silent moment with nature, enjoy it. If it is listening to music that gives you peace, by all means listen. If it is a walk with your dog on the Greenbelt, get to walking. And don't be afraid to reach out when you see someone in pain and share with them the story of "Man's Search for Meaning".
Blessed Be.
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